We need to talk about: Decaf
The ultimate coffee experience
We need to talk about the bollocks that decaf lovers get for drinking what many would describe as a joyless cup of bitterness.
Gatekeepers of the coffee experience have long laughed at the prospect of someone schlepping their way into a cafe and timidly asking for a decaf flat white.
Do decaf drinkers deserve this abuse? Should they be ridiculed for their pathetic, weak, terrible life choices?
No! Decaf drinkers are hands down the true connoisseurs of the coffee world.
A bold claim, but hear me out.
Without the caffeine, the only thing left in a cup of decaf, are tears of sadness, is taste. Decaf drinkers are only in it for the taste.
With that in mind, their coffee opinions are the ones you should trust the most. They know taste. They know excellence. They aren’t blinded by a caffeine hit that wipes the memory of a terrible coffee from their mind brain.
The rise of coffee quality overall, and the processes that make coffee decaffeinated, have improved considerably over recent times. So much so, it’s harder to find a terrible cup of decaf than it is to find a great one.
Finding a great one is as simple as asking a decaf lover where to go. Each and every recommendation you’ll receive, no matter your coffee preferences, will be hot fire. No exception.
Head-to-head - the battle of the decafs
I got some hot fire recommendations when I put the call out for some decaf to try to try head-to-head.
Direct from the roaster came Firsthand El Tucan and Rich Coffee Roasters Colombia, and from the supermarket came pre-ground offerings from Laffare Decaf and Hummingbird Decaf.
Side-by-side, the Firsthand and Hummingbird were both excellent. Amazing fruity notes, delicate, and in the case of Hummingbird, a magical smell.
Coming in strong was Rich Coffee, which is always good (I’ve never had a bad Rich).
The big surprise was the supermarket bought, pre- ground Laffare. It was a great cup - proving the point that bad decaf is hard to come by.
Is that enough to convince you?
No, of course not. If you hate decaf on philosophical grounds, a blog post isn’t likely to convince you to stop being a drongo and to get over yourself, even with some added cyber bullying.
What about if I said that the coolest mother f**ker on Instagram loves it?
How about if I told you that decaf cold brew is great for late night cocktails that don’t keep you up?
Well, if not, all I can say is that you’re missing out on an amazing and growing corner of the coffee world.
Dunedin Barista Jared Cullen recently had this to say about decaf:
Decaf can be delicious. Great for a late-night filter. We sell quite a lot of it, the secret is definitely out.
THE SECRET IS DEFINITELY OUT.
I’m glad we got to talk about decaf.
Peace.